Daily Dad Challenge - February 2025

While I was not perfect, I tried to keep up with the daily entries for January. A few times I got behind a day or two and had to double down on my reading and pondering. My goal for February is to do slightly better. February will be full of things to do, so I look forward to setting aside some time and space for this daily reading.

Feb 1 Thoughts

The older I get, the more I enjoyed Bruce Springsteen's music. Perhaps there is something underlying that connects me to his life and music. This passage shared a bit about his past, how he did not have the home life that he needed, the love in the house was conditional.  He was alone as a kid.  Raising kids is tough and often infuriating - but even in times when I have to "lay down the law" and serve out restrictions (punishments from their point of view), I try to remind them why I am doing the things I do.  My job is to make sure you grow up in a way that you can flourish as an adult.  No tablet because homework is more important. Eye rolls and sighs and slammed doors.  But I make sure to tell them, I am doing this for you because I know one is more important than the other.  I also try to follow up with, no matter what I love you. I struggle with my own upbringing quite a bit, a complex issue that I wont dive into here, but I want to make sure I do better. It takes effort, sure, but beyond that I want them to know I love them.

Feb 2 Thoughts

One thing I try to do, every day as i take the teenage girls to the bust stop (or occasionally to school), is that I love them. Even on days they are bratty, grumpy, or flat out assholes - I tell them I love them. I need to say it more, I know. I feel like like growing up how I did has made my focus on providing, which I am doing just fine, but it's ingrained... I have to focus on work. So I do. But I need to shift the cycle. I need to ensure the kids know, even when they are brats, I love them and I am doing what I do because I love them.

Feb 3 Thoughts

Making sure our kids know they are loved, in all the accessories in between. Not just when it's easy, not just when we are proud, but everywhere else. All the time. I had to lecture my 16yo about homework and the importance of school. It wasn't something she loved. After it was over, I said "I love you." That was how I ended it because I wanted her to know it, even during the hardest times. 

Jan 4 Thoughts

The entry discussed how we are here to be of service to our children. In general, i do agree. It's what I signed up for and there will be MANY times it will be a struggle. I also believe in allowing them to struggle and learn in certain circumstances. That's hard, too. We don't want to see our kids experiencing negative emotions, situations, etc. However, if they don't learn and grow, how are they to move forward? I look forward to being needed less, but not being completely unneeded.

Jan 5 Thoughts

This passage was sharing the idea that our kids are enough as they are. Strengths and weaknesses, sure, but they are enough as they are. The guilt we carry forward if someone we love simply doesn't believe in us is tough. Even if it's a momentary interaction, that feeling persists. It's why, when I do have to lecture my kids or take away a tablet, I remind them they have the power to get it back because I know they can do better. I want them to know I believe in them. I also make no big deal of them quitting something. We talk it out and I am honest with them, but if they want to quit, I let it happen and forget about it.

Feb 6 Thoughts

This is almost exactly what I needed to read. The discipline and work it takes to be a food professional should be matched as a parent. Make sure your boundaries foe your professional life do not negatively affect your personal life. It takes discipline, ethic, and care for both.

Feb 7 Thoughts

Wherever they are, you must be, too. There will be times (there are times now) when I feel like they are making mistakes, but I must let them. Not only that, I have to support them. They will go through a lot, I have to be there.

Feb 8

This passage actually reminded me of advice I received a while back. So, it's basically saying our kids don't owe us anything, but it has a focus of "make me proud" - as of they have this obligation. A while back someone said I needed to retraced it to focus on how THEY feel. I try, I'm not perfect, to say things like, "aren't you proud of yourself?" This way, it allows them to feel good about what they did. I also try to remember that any negative aspects are behavior based and thus, can be changed. For that stuff, "i don't like how you acted doing..." For the good stuff, "aren't you proud of yourself that you did ...."

Feb 9

This entry talked about love being the bind that allows kids to be close and do the right thing. Using force, eventually, backfires. I try to limit using force, but it can be difficult. I have a hardtime with my kids and school work - they have to have this done before they get screen time. Grades getting worse = less screen time. It's my way of forcing them. I want some simple things for my kids, minimum. Decent grades, be clean (ish), and be nice. That is a tough trifecta. I try to tell and show them I love them through it all.

Feb 10

This passage shares a parable about accepting your kids and welcoming them back despite their actions and mistakes. This one has been a bit hard, as we have two adult children that cannot seem to get on a good path forward. It wears me out as they consistently make decisions against their best interests (short and long term). We are running out of ability to help financially, as we still have other obligations and such. However, we still try to be there for the kids (adults). We try to listen and offer encouragement. We keep our arms (although not so much our wallets) open to them.

Feb 11

This entry shared thoughts on how parenting changes us, makes us realize how connected we are and become vulnerable...and we become better people. I absolutely agree. As I stumbled through raising kids, I can feel the change in me, i can feel my focus shift, it will continue to happen, I am sure. While I hope I have helped the world by adopting my kids, I also owe the world a thank you for the growth it has pushed me toward through this experience. Sometimes it is tough, but when I am gone and I call home, what do I ask about? It's not my emails, bills, the lawn. It's the family. 

Feb 12

This reading showcased who our kids are (not always sibling or a mini me), they are unique and we need to embrace it. I try to nurture their differences and allow them to explore who they are. There are certain guardrails, good grades, being kind, etc - but beyond that, I try to continue asking about their interests, what they are thinking, etc. I want them to know their self identity is just fine with me.

Feb 13

Sometimes we focus on the wrong idea, the wrong things. I try to make sure i don't give my kids too much stuff, because stuff isn't the goal. I do try to give them time (for them, for me), let them know i know its hard being a kid, tell them I love them. I certainly make mistakes and I try to identify and own up to them. I try to show them I love them, tell them. I may not let them spend unending hours on screens, but I am here for you.

Feb 14

Today's entry, obviously, talks about l9ving and loving your partner. Loving who your kids love and showing them what love looks like in and for a partner. This is one I know I need to continue working on. I struggle loving and being loved. My brain tells me things are wrong instead of things can be improved. I need to say I love you to my spouse more, and more in front of my kids.

Feb 15

This excerpt was sharing the importance of admiration and attention. This is something that I will try to do more. I think, because they are teenage girls, their attitude right now is through the roof, but perhaps bow is when it's more important to show care, give attention, show love.

Feb 16

Keep the main thing as the main thing. Something my wife has reminded me of is the importance of raising kids ready for the world. I need to relax on clean rooms, great grades, and so forth. Are my kids good? Kind? Resilient? That's the main thing.

Feb 17

Today's post is about helping the kiddo without calling them out. Helping them when they need it, but don't want to specifically say so. I need to get better at knowing needs without asking them, at times I am just removed from understanding the situation. I'm here to help, give a hand up and help them stand up.

Feb 18

Sometimes we doubt our kids actions and decisions. At times, we will need to be good parents, not by standing in the way, but by showing them a way. A guide and mentor. At times, we have ti understand the best route to help our kids, it's not always a lecture or even our voice. At times, we will disagree, and its ok to disagree and it's ok to keep that disagreement to ourselves. 

Feb 19

Assuming the best, noble intent, can be difficult in situations as they arise. One thing i have been repeating to my kids is being nice to each other. They rag and dig, etc at each other nonstop. I feel like I am always asking for niceness. I have tried hard to show that as well, even at times pointing it out so they are a bit more aware of nice things. See what your sister did that was nice? Isn't your mom being nice here? Not sure, but i hope it's slowly seeping in!

Feb 20

This excerpt talked about wealth and how we, as kids, looked up to wealthy kids. They're rich! Except, money can't buy happiness or love. I think we do a good job of not over buying things for our kids, but we can always do better in loving our kids. They deserve love.

Feb 21

This passage almost made my cry. It talked about a great mentor embracing the tough situation of his friend and the friends kid, who was considering a sex change (surgery, etc). The parent worried about so many things, FOR, the kid. He told his friend and he was met with a friend, empathy and compassion. What a great place to be and a reminder our kids need love as a foundation, as a reminder, as a cherry on top.